Cynthia

by Mike Vardy of Productivityist.com

As we head deeper into the year, many of us have seen our BIG resolutions that we made fall by the wayside.  Why is that?  Perhaps it’s because our energy levels dipped and we couldn’t maintain the new habits that we had adopted.  Perhaps it’s because we weren’t really committed to giving them full effort in the first place and just felt that we ‘had’ to make some resolutions.  Or perhaps we simply lost our focus.

No matter what the reason is, just because we’re well past January 1st doesn’t mean we can’t have the year we want.  I’ll go as far to say that making resolutions at the start of the year is not the best idea anyway.  We’re just getting to the end of six weeks of holiday madness, our energy levels and emotions are scattered all over the place, and we’re feeling the pressure of a new calendar year that seemingly forces us to make decisions on adopting a new way of life – decisions that we haven’t completely thought out and habits we aren’t quite ready to adopt.

If you’re feeling like you’ve let yourself down because you haven’t kept up with your resolutions, don’t fret.  I propose that you can start the year you want anytime you want.

Here are 5 things you can do starting now to make that happen.

1.  Take a month to reflect and recharge.

If you find your mid-month or mid-year routines spinning your wheels, take one month and simply reflect on what you’ve done in the past few months – what’s working, what isn’t, potential changes that need to be implemented, etc.  Recharge your focus so that you can take on the months ahead.

Don’t start this process mid-month while you’re juggling a hundred different things; make sure you prepare yourself to start this exercise at the beginning of the next month and fully commit to it.  So, if you’re reading this in mid-March and you’re looking to take one month to reflect and recharge, plan to start promptly on April 1st.  Doing so will give you enough time to prepare for the month ahead in terms of lowering your workload and setting up proper expectations for both yourself and those who rely on you.

2.  Theme your months.

Another clever way to ensure that you can start the year you want anytime you want is to apply a theme to each month of the year.  For example, if you have a project or goal that you’ve been dying to work on, take a month of the year to make it your primary focus.  This isn’t to say that you have to completely ignore everything that’s unrelated to what you’re trying to achieve during that month.  Instead, by aligning that month with your specific project or goal, and making it the focal point, or theme, you are more likely to put forth the time and effort necessary to make significant progress on it.  (Read The Front Nine.)

3.  Classify days for heavy-lifting and light-lifting.

Use your days accordingly.  There are some days where you’re going to be able to spend a significant amount of time on your goal or project, and there will be days where you simply won’t be able to at all.  I use a system of ‘heavy-lifting’ and ‘light-lifting’ days to help me make measured progress on my goals and projects.  By taking the days that I know I’m going to be able to spend the bulk of my time on my goal or project, I allow myself some emotional support for those days where I can’t – and don’t feel bad about taking those days off in the process.

For example, if you work a day job from Monday through Friday, perhaps Saturday and Sunday could be a heavy-lifting days for that side project you’ve been working on, and the other five days can be light-lifting ones.  Or if like me, you’re a stay-at-home / work-at-home parent, you will have some days where you can work on that big goal, while others you are focusing on fulfilling your duty as a parent.

The key is to evaluate and plan your schedule enough to know which days are for heavy lifting and which days aren’t.  It’s going to be different for everyone, but by classifying both types of days it helps you prioritize and emotionally separate the various kinds of work you “should be doing.”  This prevents you from neglecting what you need to do for the sake of what you want to do, or from trying to do too much at once.

4.  Capture and curate.

Being busy and being productive are two totally different things.  For instance, rocking in a rocking chair can keep you busy, but it’s not going to get you anywhere. It’s all about figuring out how you can deliver the greatest positive impact on your projects and goals in a set amount of time.

Obviously you can’t do everything and still be productive; trying to do so is futile.  This is where capturing and curating come into play.  You should spend at least two weeks capturing and tracking your daily tasks on an hourly basis, or as often as you can through each day.  It’s a challenging habit to adopt, but once you’ve spent some time doing it, you can then begin the selective process of curating those tasks.  This involves reprioritizing, reordering, expanding, and eliminating tasks so that you really spend your time getting the right things done, instead of simply being busy just for the sake of appearing to be productive.

Again, by first tracking and capturing everything you do and then fine-tuning and curating your efforts, you give yourself the luxury of being able to accomplish more of the things that matter to you.  (Read Getting Things Done.)

5.  Manage your time realistically

Even after curating your tasks and time effectively, you’ll still have to give yourself the freedom to let some things go.  Some of what you tracked is not immediately important and will have to go on the back burner, and some of it will have to drop off your radar altogether.

The key to having the year you want anytime you want is to accept the limited amount of time you have to do something really, really great.  The value of quality over quantity is essential when it comes to how you mange your time, which in turn is essential to your long-term happiness and success.  Better to do one amazing thing than ten mediocre things.  Better to do one thing you really want to do, than ten things someone else wants you to do.  (Read 1,000 Little Things.)

One of the most powerful ways you can change your perspective on the time you have is to get a bird’s eye view of the year ahead.  A wall calendar that displays the entire year at a glance can do that for you (I use a large one-page calendar) as you can see what you’ve mapped out in the months to come and celebrate what you’ve achieved in the months gone by.

Get real with your year and you are well on your way to making it great, no matter when you decide to start it.

Mike Vardy is a husband, father, writer, podcaster, speaker, and ‘productivityist’.  In addition to writing for his blog, Productivityist.com, he contributes guest articles to several online and print publications on the topic of productivity, time, and task management, and just recently published his latest book, The Front Nine.

Photo by: Cornelia Kopp

Do more than just exist.  We all exist.  The question is: Do you live?

About 15 years ago, I had an intervention with myself.  I sat down at the local library on a Saturday morning and read through hundreds of archived entries in my journal.  Specifically, I was looking for all the unfulfilled goals and visions for the future that I had jotted down over the years.  And it didn’t take long before I realized that the entire course my life had taken up to that point had been the product of other people’s opinions and decisions.  Every day I was just going through the motions, and doing what I was “supposed” to do, instead of what was right for ME.

Fast forward to today, and as I awoke this morning, I marveled at my life.  Where once I woke with dread at the thought of a new day, now I wake with excitement to begin – grateful to be doing what I’m doing with my life.  I’m so happy I did what I had to do, and struggled through the tough times and fears, and realigned my life with the activities and ideals that make me feel alive.

I tell you this because I know life can get pretty crazy at times.  Sometimes it gets so busy that we forget how important it is to actually listen to ourselves, instead of others.  But I’m happy to tell you that things can change if you want them to, at any age.

Just as I’ve turned things around for myself, I know hundreds of other people who have done the same.  Through a decade of life, relationship, and small business coaching, I’ve witnessed people reinventing themselves at all ages – 48-year-olds starting families, 57-year-olds graduating from college for the first time, 71-year-olds starting successful businesses, and so forth.

How did we do it?  We insisted upon making changes, and we followed through.

Above all, what you need to remember is happiness is dependent upon ourselves, and there are some things in life you have to insist on doing, no matter what others say about it.  For instance, you have to…

1. Insist on making your life your own. – Most of us are not raised to actively seek our calling.  We may not even know that we have one.  As kids, we are seldom told we have a place in life that is uniquely ours alone.  Instead, we are encouraged to believe that our life should somehow fulfill the expectations of others – that we should find our happiness exactly as they have found theirs.  Rather than being taught to ask ourselves who we are, we are trained to ask others for permission.  We are, in effect, schooled to live other people’s versions of our lives.  Every day is designed and developed as told to us by someone else!  And then one day when we break free to survey our dreams, seeking to fulfill ourselves, we see that most of our dreams have gone unfulfilled because we believed, and those around us believed, that what we wanted for ourselves was somehow beyond our reach.  It’s time to unlearn these lies and make changes.  It takes courage to grow wiser and become who you really are.  And today is the first day of the rest of your life.
2. Insist on subtracting what doesn’t belong in your life. – There’s so much you can let go of in life without losing a thing.  It’s called growth.  Letting go of the old makes way for the new.   Letting go of what isn’t working makes way for what will.  When the pain of holding on is worse than the pain of letting go, it’s time to let go and grow.  In other words, start subtracting… the habits, routines and circumstances that are holding you back.  You cannot discover new oceans unless you build up enough courage to lose sight of the old, familiar shoreline.  Be brave.  Follow your values.  Make changes.  Dare to be different.  And don’t be afraid to like it.  (Read A New Earth.)
3. Insist on making passion a priority. – Purpose is the reason you journey.  Passion is the fire that lights your way.  Without passion, it’s impossible to progress.  The heart of human excellence begins to beat when you discover a pursuit that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, and gives you a sense of meaning.   Some resist this fact and think passion is just fluff.  Well that’s nonsense!  Honestly, the saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t have a deep passion about anything at all.  Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there’s nothing meaningful behind it to make it last.  So remember, if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.  Only passions – great passions – can elevate the soul to great heights.  If there was ever a moment to follow your heart and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
4. Insist on working hard for what you want most. – Sometimes you’ve got to create what you want to be a part of from the ground up – you’ve got to work harder than ever before to get more than you ever dreamed of.  Be a dreamer.  Be a doer.  Know what is truly important to you and why.  Then act on it with all your might.  Dreams don’t just magically become realities; it takes a lot of determination, sweat, and hard work.  And remember, tough circumstances don’t last; tough people do.  Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to march boldly through them.  If you have a strong commitment to your goals and dreams, and wake up every morning with a burning passion to work toward them, anything is possible.  So dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself.  Go forward and make your dreams a working reality.  (Read The War of Art.)
5. Insist on saying what you need to say. – Dr. Seuss once said, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”  There’s a lot of truth in that statement.  Be cordial and reasonable, of course, but don’t tread carefully on every word you say.  Push your concerns of what others might think aside and say what you need to say.  Let the consequences of doing so unravel naturally.  What you’ll find is that most of the time no one will be offended or irritated at all.  And if they do get upset, it’s likely only because you’ve brought something important to their attention that forces them to think differently.  Bottom line: When you don’t speak up, there’s a lot of important stuff that never gets said.  And in the end, there’s no greater sadness than holding on to the words you never had the courage to speak.
6. Insist on leaving other people’s judgmental opinions alone. – When I first started writing on this blog, I’d agonize over whether people would think what I was writing was good enough.  I desperately hoped they’d like it, and oftentimes I’d catch myself imagining they didn’t.  Then one day I realized how much energy I was wasting worrying about it.  So I’ve gradually learned to relax with simply not knowing.  Some problems in life, such as not knowing what others think of you, are not really meant to be resolved.  How people perceive you may have more to do with them than you anyway.  They may even like or dislike you simply because you’ve triggered an association in their minds by reminding them of someone they liked or disliked from their past, which has absolutely nothing to do with you.  So here’s a new mantra for you – say it, and then say it again: “This is my life, my choices, my mistakes and my lessons.  As long as I’m not hurting people, I need not worry what they think of me.”  (Angel and I discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
7. Insist on being as weird as you are. – It’s human nature to attempt to mimic other humans we look up to – perhaps a parental figure or a celebrity – especially when we are feeling insecure in our own skin.  But attempting to be someone else will always leave us feeling empty inside.  Why?  Because what we appreciate about the people we admire is their individuality – the qualities that make them unique.  To really copy them, we need to develop our own individuality, and in that way, we would actually be less like them and more like our true selves.  We all have quirks and a weirdness about us.  The more relaxed you become with your own differences, the more comfortable you will start to feel just being YOU.  Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side… your own special creation.  If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in.  But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are.

Your turn…

How has the desire to “fit in” interfered with your life?  What has it stopped you from doing or being?  What do you need to start insisting on in your life?  Leave a comment below and share your insights with us.

Photo by: Elena

“Asking the right questions is the answer.”

That’s the tagline at the top of our sister site Thought Questions.  The site thrives on the philosophy that a question that makes you think is worth asking.  So we’ve made a ritual of asking one new thought provoking question every day for our visitors to ponder and answer.

Over the past year we have received countless requests to compile all the questions and place them on a single page that can be easily printed and reviewed.  So here it is.  A whole year’s worth of thought provoking questions to get your mind moving.

1. When was the last time you tried something new?
2. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
3. What’s the most sensible thing you’ve ever heard someone say?
4. What gets you excited about life?
5. What life lesson did you learn the hard way?
6. What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?
7. Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?
8. Who do you love and what are you doing about it?
9. What’s a belief that you hold with which many people disagree?
10. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?
11. Do you think crying is a sign of weakness or strength?
12. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
13. Do you celebrate the things you do have?
14. What is the difference between living and existing?
15. If not now, then when?
16. Have you done anything lately worth remembering?
17. What does your joy look like today?
18. Is it possible to lie without saying a word?
19. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow this person to be your friend?
20. Which activities make you lose track of time?
21. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
22. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
23. Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?
24. When you are 80-years-old, what will matter to you the most?
25. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?
26. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
27. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
28. What makes you smile?
29. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
30. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?
31. If the average human lifespan was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
32. What do we all have in common besides our genes that makes us human?
33. If you could choose one book as a mandatory read for all high school students, which book would you choose?
34. Would you rather have less work or more work you actually enjoy doing?
35. What is important enough to go to war over?
36. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
37. When was the last time you listened to the sound of your own breathing?
38. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
39. What does ‘The American Dream’ mean to you?
40. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
41. If you could instill one piece of advice in a newborn baby’s mind, what advice would you give?
42. What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?
43. What are you most grateful for?
44. Is stealing to feed a starving child wrong?
45. What do you want most?
46. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
47. What has life taught you recently?
48. What is the one thing you would most like to change about the world?
49. Where do you find inspiration?
50. Can you describe your life in a six word sentence?
51. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
52. What impact do you want to leave on the world?
53. What is the most defining moment of your life thus far?
54. In the haste of your daily life, what are you not seeing?
55. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
56. What lifts your spirits when life gets you down?
57. Have you ever regretted something you did not say or do?
58. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
59. Why do we think of others the most when they’re gone?
60. What is your most beloved childhood memory?
61. Is it more important to love or be loved?
62. If it all came back around to you, would it help you or hurt you?
63. If you had the chance to go back in time and change one thing would you do it?
64. If a doctor gave you five years to live, what would you try to accomplish?
65. What is the difference between falling in love and being in love?
66. Who do you think stands between you and happiness?
67. What is the difference between innocence and ignorance?
68. What is the simplest truth you can express in words?
69. What gives your life meaning?
70. Can there be happiness without sadness?  Pleasure without pain?  Peace without war?
71. What’s the one thing you’d like others to remember about you at the end of your life?
72. Is there such a thing as perfect?
73. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
74. What does it mean to be human?
75. If you looked into the heart of your enemy, what do you think you would find that is different from what is in your own heart?
76. What do you love most about yourself?
77. Where would you most like to go and why?
78. Is it more important to do what you love or to love what you are doing?
79. What do you imagine yourself doing ten years from now?
80. What small act of kindness were you once shown that you will never forget?
81. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?
82. Do you own your things or do your things own you?
83. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?
84. How do you deal with someone in a position of power who wants you to fail?
85. What do you have that you cannot live without?
86. When you close your eyes what do you see?
87. What sustains you on a daily basis?
88. What are your top five personal values?
89. Why must you love someone enough to let them go?
90. Do you ever celebrate the green lights?
91. What personal prisons have you built out of fears?
92. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?
93. Why are you, you?
94. If you haven’t achieved it yet what do you have to lose?
95. What three words would you use to describe the last three months of your life?
96. Is it ever right to do the wrong thing?  Is it ever wrong to do the right thing?
97. How would you describe ‘freedom’ in your own words?
98. What is the most important thing you could do right now in your personal life?
99. If you could ask one person, alive or dead, only one question, who would you ask and what would you ask?
100. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
101. What is your number one goal for the next six months?
102. Would you ever give up your life to save someone else?
103. Are you happy with yourself?
104. What is the meaning of ‘peace’ to you?
105. What are three moral rules you will never break?
106. What does it mean to allow another person to truly love you?
107. Who or what do you think of when you think of love?
108. If your life was a novel, what would be the title and how would your story end?
109. What would you not give up for $1,000,000 in cash?
110. When do you feel most like yourself?
111. When you help someone do you ever think, “What’s in it for me?”
112. What is your greatest challenge?
113. How do you know when it’s time to continue holding on or time to let go?
114. How do you define success?
115. If someone could tell you the exact day and time you are going to die, would you want them to tell you?
116. If I could grant you one wish what would you wish for?
117. What have you read online recently that inspired you?
118. Why do religions that advocate unity divide the human race?
119. If you could live one day of your life over again, what day would you choose?
120. What can money not buy?
121. If you left this life tomorrow, how would you be remembered?
122. Beyond the titles that others have given you, who are you?
123. If you could live the next 24 hours and then erase it and start over just once, what would you do?
124. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
125. What word best describes the way you’ve spent the last month of your life?
126. What makes everyone smile?
127. What do you owe yourself?
128. What would your ‘priceless’ Mastercard-style commercial be?
129. Can you think of a time when impossible became possible?
130. Why do you matter?
131. How have you changed in the last five years?
132. What are you sure of in your life?
133. When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of?
134. What’s the difference between settling for things and accepting the way things are?
135. How many of your friends would you trust with your life?
136. What’s your definition of heaven?
137. What is your most prized possession?
138. How would you describe yourself in one sentence?
139. What stands between you and happiness?
140. What makes a person beautiful?
141. Is there ever a time when giving up makes sense?
142. What makes you proud?
143. How do you find the strength to do what you know in your heart is right?
144. Where do you find peace?
145. When have you worked hard and loved every minute of it?
146. How short would your life have to be before you would start living differently today?
147. Is it better to have loved and lost or to have never loved at all?
148. What would you do if you made a mistake and somebody died?
149. Who do you trust and why?
150. If you were forced to eliminate every physical possession from your life with the exception of what could fit into a single backpack, what would you put in it?
151. When does silence convey more meaning than words?
152. How do you spend the majority of your free time?
153. Who do you think of first when you think of ‘success?’
154. What did you want to be when you grew up?
155. How will today matter in five years from now?
156. How have you helped someone else recently?
157. What is your greatest skill?
158. Do you see to believe or believe to see?
159. How are you pursuing your dreams right now?
160. What’s the next big step you need to take?
161. If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you are about to do today?
162. If today was the last day of your life, who would you call and what would you tell them?
163. Who do you dream about?
164. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind?
165. What are you looking forward to?
166. What is the number one thing you want to accomplish before you die?
167. When is love a weakness?
168. What has been the most terrifying moment of your life thus far?
169. Who is the strongest person you know?
170. If you could take a single photograph of your life, what would it look like?
171. Is the reward worth the risk?
172. For you personally, what makes today worth living?
173. What have you done in the last year that makes you proud?
174. What did you learn recently that changed the way you live?
175. What is your fondest memory from the past three years?
176. What are the primary components of a happy life?
177. How would the world be different if you were never born?
178. What is your favorite song and why?
179. With the resources you have right now, what can you do to bring yourself closer to your goal?
180. What are your top three priorities?
181. Why do we idolize sports players?
182. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
183. What do you see when you look into the future?
184. What makes you angry?  Why?
185. What is the most valuable life lesson you learned from your parents?
186. What does love feel like?
187. What are your favorite simple pleasures?
188. If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing, what would you tell?
189. What do you do to deliberately impress others?
190. What will you never do?
191. Excluding romantic relationships, who do you love?
192. What is your earliest childhood memory?
193. What book has had the greatest influence on your life?
194. What three questions do you wish you knew the answers to?
195. What is the greatest peer pressure you’ve ever felt?
196. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true?
197. In your lifetime, what have you done that hurt someone else?
198. What’s the best part of growing older?
199. What’s been on your mind most lately?
200. What do you think is worth waiting for?
201. What chances do you wish you had taken?
202. Where else would you like to live?  Why?
203. What motivates you to go to work each day?
204. What do you wish you had done differently?
205. What is your greatest strength and your greatest weakness?
206. When was the last time you lied?  What did you lie about?
207. What made you smile this week?
208. What do you do with the majority of your money?
209. What motivates you to be your best?
210. When was the last time you lost your temper?  About what?
211. What will you never give up on?
212. When you look into the past, what do you miss the most?
213. How would you describe the past year of your life in one sentence?
214. What is the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
215. What makes you uncomfortable?
216. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what one thing would you miss the most?
217. What worries you about the future?
218. What one ‘need’ and one ‘want’ will you strive to achieve in the next twelve months?
219. What life lessons did you have to experience firsthand before you fully understood them?
220. Do you like the city or town you live in?  Why or why not?
221. What’s the best part of being you?
222. When you look back over the past month, what single moment stands out?
223. What do you do to relieve stress?
224. What is your happiest memory?
225. What is your saddest memory?
226. What would you like to change?
227. How many people do you love?
228. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
229. What’s your favorite true story that you enjoy sharing with others?
230. Right now, at this moment, what do you want most?
231. What are you waiting for?  How are you writing your life’s story?
232. What makes love last?
233. What good comes from suffering?
234. What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned in the last year?
235. Based on you current daily actions and routines, where would you expect to be in five years?
236. What was your last major accomplishment?
237. Through all of life’s twists and turns who has been there for you?
238. What or who has been distracting you?
239. What are you looking forward to in the upcoming week?
240. Who is your mentor and what have you learned from them?
241. What are you uncertain about?
242. What do you think about when you lie awake in bed?
243. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
244. When you have a random hour of free time, what do you usually do?
245. What makes you weird?
246. If you could relive yesterday what would you do differently?
247. What do you do over and over again that you hate doing?
248. Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent?
249. What white lies do you often tell?
250. What is the biggest change you have made in your life in the last year?
251. What do you understand today about your life that you did not understand a year ago?
252. Whose life have you had the greatest impact on?
253. What did life teach you yesterday?
254. Who impresses you?
255. What have you done that you are not proud of?
256. When should you reveal a secret that you promised you wouldn’t reveal?
257. How would you spend your ideal day?
258. What is the one primary quality you look for in a significant other?
259. What do you admire most about your mother and father?
260. What is the best advice you have ever received?
261. If you could live forever, would you want to?  Why?
262. If you had to be someone else for one day, who would you be and why?
263. What positive changes have you made in your life recently?
264. Who makes you feel good about yourself?
265. What is your biggest regret?
266. Which one of your responsibilities do you wish you could get rid of?
267. What’s something you don’t like to do that you are still really good at?
268. What type of person angers you the most?
269. What is missing in your life?
270. What is your most striking physical attribute?
271. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?
272. Who would you like to please the most?
273. If you could go back in time and change things, what would you change about the week that just passed?
274. When you meet someone for the very first time what do you want them to think about you?
275. Who would you like to forgive?
276. At what point during the last five years have you felt lost and alone?
277. What is one opportunity you believe you missed out on when you were younger?
278. What do you want more of in your life?
279. What do you want less of in your life?
280. Who depends on you?
281. Who has had the greatest impact on your life?
282. Are you happy with where you are in your life?  Why?
283. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?
284. How have you sabotaged yourself in the past five years?
285. Other than money, what else have you gained from your current job?
286. Whom do you secretly envy?  Why?
287. In twenty years, what do you want to remember?
288. What are you most excited about in your life right now – today?
289. What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most?
290. What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years?
291. How many hours of television do you watch in a week?  A month?  A year?
292. What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?
293. What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t?
294. What do you like most about your job?  What do you dislike most about your job?
295. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?
296. In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother?
297. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?
298. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
299. What makes you feel secure?
300. What is your favorite sound?
301. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
302. What simple gesture have you recently witnessed that renewed your hope in humanity?
303. What is your favorite smell?
304. What recent memory makes you smile the most?
305. In one word, how would you describe your childhood?
306. What celebrities do you admire?  Why?
307. What is the number one motivator in your life right now?
308. What music do you listen to to lift your spirits when you’re feeling down?
309. If I gave you $1000 and told you that you had to spend it today, what would you buy?
310. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
311. What is your biggest pet peeve?
312. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?
313. What is your biggest phobia?
314. What are some recent compliments you’ve received?
315. How many friends do you have in real life that you talk to regularly?
316. How much money per month is enough for you to live comfortably?
317. When was your first impression of someone totally wrong?
318. How many hours a week do you spend online?
319. What do you love to do?
320. What specific character trait do you want to be known for?
321. Are you more like your mom or your dad?  In what way?
322. What is the number one quality that makes someone a good leader?
323. What bad habits do you want to break?
324. What is your favorite place on Earth?
325. What do you love to practice?
326. What questions do you often ask yourself?
327. What are you an expert at?
328. How would an extra $1000 a month change your life?
329. What things in life should always be free?
330. What is your favorite time of the year?
331. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid?
332. What is the most recent dream you remember having while sleeping?
333. What confuses you?
334. In what way are you your own worst enemy?
335. When did you not speak up when you should have?
336. What is your favorite quote?
337. What is your favorite fictional story?  (novel, movie, fairytale, etc.)
338. Where or who do you turn to when you need good advice?
339. What artistic medium do you use to express yourself?
340. Who or what is the greatest enemy of mankind?
341. What’s something you wish you had done earlier in life?
342. What is the closest you have ever come to fearing for your life?
343. How do you deal with isolation and loneliness?
344. What do you know well enough to teach to others?
345. What’s a quick decision you once made that changed your life?
346. What have you lost interest in recently?
347. What makes life easier?
348. What was the last thing you furiously argued about with someone?
349. What job would you never do no matter how much it paid?
350. What is the number one solution to healing the world?
351. What could society do without?
352. What stresses you out?
353. Now that it’s behind you, what did you do last week that was memorable?
354. Where do you spend most of your time while you’re awake?
355. What makes someone a hero?
356. When in your life have you been a victim of stereotyping?
357. When was the last time you felt lucky?
358. When did you first realize that life is short?
359. What is the most insensitive thing a person can do?
360. What can someone do to grab your attention?
361. What do you usually think about on your drive home from work?
362. What’s one downside of the modern day world?
363. What simple fact do you wish more people understood?
364. If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?
365. How would you describe your future in three words?

Also, we’d love it if you visited Thought Questions and shared some of your answers with us.  And check out these books for more thought-provoking questions:

• The Book of Questions
• If… (Questions For The Game of Life)
• The Complete Book of Questions: 1001 Conversation Starters for Any Occasion

Photo by: Jacob Botter

People and circumstances will occasionally break you down.  But if you keep your mind focused, your heart open to possibility, and continue to put one foot in front of the other, you will be able to quickly recover the pieces, rebuild, and come back much stronger than you ever would have been otherwise.

Here are a few happy thoughts to ponder on those days when the whole world seems like it’s crashing down around you.

1. Down days are completely normal, and not something you should feel guilty about having.  Happiness is never constant.  Surrendering to your sadness, or whatever negative emotion is trying to come to the surface, does not make you a bad person.  But remember, if you aren’t sincerely thankful for every smile, don’t be totally shocked by every tear.  Keep things in perspective.  Read Happiness Is a Serious Problem.
2. When you are at your lowest point, you are open to the greatest positive change.  Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the strength to deal with them.  Strength doesn’t come from what you can do; it comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t do.
3. There is a huge difference between giving up and moving on.  Moving on doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are some things that cannot be.  Moving on can mean that you’re making a choice to be happy rather than hurt.  For some folks, good situations last a lifetime, but for many, not knowing when to move on can hold them back forever.
4. Life rarely turns out exactly the way you want it to, but you still have an opportunity to make it great.  You have to do what you can, with what you have, exactly where you are.  It won’t always be easy, but it will be worth it in the end.  Remember that there is no perfect life, just perfect moments.  And it’s these moments you must cherish; it’s these moments that make the whole journey worthwhile.
5. Most people ask for happiness on condition, but long-term happiness can only be felt if you don’t set conditions.  Accept life unconditionally. Realize that life balances itself between the ideal and the disappointing.  And the disappointments are just life’s way of saying, “I’ve got something better for you right around the corner.”  So be patient, live life, accept what is, and have a little faith.
6. Too often, we carry around things from our past that hurt us – regrets, shame, anger, pain, etc.  Don’t let these negative points from the past rob your present happiness.  You had to live though these things in the past, and although unfortunate, they can’t be changed.  But if the only place they live today is in your mind, then let go, move on, and be happy.  Read Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life.
7. You can choose to view things differently.  Pick one part of your life that you are unhappy with and look at it from a different point of view.  See the rain as nourishment for future growth.  Consider being alone for awhile to create the solitude you need to hear your inner voice.  Think of your lack of funds as an opportunity to experience the simple things in life.  Right now, you can choose to allow the light to shine in your life.  It is a choice.  Why not allow it?
8. Once you embrace unpleasant news, not as a negative but as evidence of a need for positive change, you’re learning from it and growing.  Whatever life throws at you, even if it hurts, be strong and fight through it.  Remember, strong walls shake but never collapse.  Life always offers you another chance – it’s called tomorrow.
9. When your flaws are stitched together with good intentions, your flaws make you beautiful.  It’s better to be true to yourself and risk being ridiculed by others, than to be false, and miss out on the beauty of being YOU.  Never be bullied into silence.  Never let someone else tell you who you are.  Accept no one’s definition of your life, except your own.
10. You have the ability to heal yourself.  Just like lava flowing slowly out of a volcano, you must create a healthy outlet for your pain and anger.  It’s important after you’ve been hurt to take some time to think about your pain, and address it calmly and consciously, so you can thwart the possibility of more pain brewing from your own negativity.
11. There’s a lot of life left to be lived.  The real tragedy in life is not death, but the passion we let die inside of us while we still live.  Remember, troubles from the past cannot define you, destroy you, or defeat you all by themselves.  As long as you keep pushing forward, they can only strengthen you.  Read You Can Heal Your Life.
12. You are a work in progress; which means you get there a little at a time, not all at once.  Today is a brand new day – a fresh start.  Replace negativity with positivity.  Think happy thoughts.  Exercise.  Drink lots of water.  Fill your body with fuel.  Healthy is happy.  Inspire yourself.  Create.  Laugh.  Play.  Love.  Learn.  Give someone a compliment.  Perform a random act of kindness.  Take a chance on an idea you believe in.  You have the opportunity to do these things every single day – to make the necessary changes and slowly become the person you want to be.  You just have to decide to do it.  Decide that today is the day.  Say it: “This is going to be my day!”

Photo by: Jon McGovern

Life is not complicated.  We are complicated.  When we stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, life is simple.

Would you like to uncomplicate your life?  I bet you would!

Marc and I received well over 1,000 replies to our recent ‘subscribers only’ email series (you can subscribe here for free) on simplicity.  This inspired me to revisit the content, tailor it to some of the most popular replies and questions we received, and share this enhanced summary of our simplicity advice series with you here.

A simple life has a different meaning and a different value for every person.  For me, it means getting rid of some of life’s complexities so you can spend more time with people you love and do more of the things you love.  It means getting rid of the clutter, and eliminating all but the essential, so you are left with only that which gives you value.

For the cynics who might say that the list of ideas below is too long to be ‘simple,’ there are really only two steps to simplifying:

1. Identify what’s most important to you.
2. Eliminate as much as you possibly can of everything else.

Of course, that advice is not terribly useful unless you understand how to apply this concept to different areas of your life; so I present to you the points below as well.  And since there can be no ‘one size fits all,’ step-by-step guide to simplifying your life, I’ve compiled an incomplete list of ideas that should help you move in the right direction.  Not every tip will fit your lifestyle, so just choose a few that do and apply them accordingly.

3.  Learn to let GO of what wasn’t meant to be.

Letting go is part of moving on to something better.  You will not get what you truly deserve if you’re too attached to the things you’re supposed to let go of.  Sometimes you love, and you struggle, and you learn, and you move on.  And that’s OK.  You must be willing to let go of the life you planned for so you can enjoy the life that is waiting for you.

4.  Stop berating yourself for being a work in progress.

Start embracing it!  Because being a work in progress doesn’t mean you’re not good enough today.  It means you want a better tomorrow, and you wish to love yourself completely, so you can live your life fully.  It means you’re determined to heal your heart, expand your mind and cultivate the gifts you know you’re meant to share. May we all be works in progress forever, and celebrate the fact that we are!

5.  Don’t wish your life away.

The truth is, your whole life has been leading up to this moment.  Think about that for a second.  Every single thing you’ve gone through in life, every high, every low, and everything in between, has led you to this moment right now.  This moment is priceless, and it’s the only moment guaranteed to you.  This moment is your ‘life.’  Don’t miss it.  (Read The Power of Now.)

6.  Forget what everyone thinks and wants for you.

One of the greatest freedoms is simply not caring what everyone else thinks of you.  Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and what you want to be.  The best thing you can do is follow your heart.  Take risks.  Don’t just accept the safe and easy choices because you’re afraid of what others will think, or afraid of what might happen.  If you do, nothing will ever happen.  Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.  They aren’t.

7.  Stop worrying and complaining.

Start focusing on the things you can control and do something about them.  Those who complain the most accomplish the least.  And when you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.  It’s usually only as good or bad as you think it is.

8.  Start making moves.

Sometimes we ask questions not to seek answers but to affirm something our soul knows already.  You’re not doing yourself a favor by merely hearing the same answer from people over and over again.  It is accepting the truth, making a conscious change and finally moving on to other things that is your answer.  Give your soul a chance to explore the life you are meant to live.  Stop asking the same questions – at some point you have to make a decision and take action.  (Read Getting Things Done.)

9.  Focus on being productive, not being busy.

Don’t just get things done; get the right things done.  Results are always more important than the time it takes to achieve them.  Stop and ask yourself if what you’re working on is worth the effort.  Is it bringing you in the same direction as your goals?  Don’t get caught up in odd jobs, even those that seem urgent, unless they are also important.

10.  Look for the silver lining in every tough situation.

When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope.  Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times.  And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right.  Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.

11.  Spend more time with the right people.

These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

12.  Let things be less than perfect.

Smile every chance you get; not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have, and all the problems you know you don’t have.  You must accept the fact that life is not perfect, that people are not perfect, and that you are not perfect.  And that’s okay, because the real world doesn’t reward perfection.  It rewards people who get GOOD things done.  And the only way to get GOOD things done is to be imperfect 99% of the time.

Afterthoughts

Truth be told, life is actually pretty simple, but we often insist on making it complicated.  If you’re struggling with any of the points above, there is a clear path to getting back on track.  Your habits are simply broken and need to be repaired.  When you trust a broken set of habits every day, it’s only a matter of time before life gets confusing and complicated.

It doesn’t have to be this way though.  You can make adjustments starting today that will instantly help you feel better, think more clearly, and live more effectively.  That’s why we wrote our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.”  It is filled with short, concise tips on how to do just that.

The floor is yours…

So which of the points above are you struggling with most right now?  What has been unnecessarily complicating your life?  Please leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights with us.

Photo by: Poetic Outlook